“Hello, my name is Emeka, I’m your new boyfriend.”
She looked up from her food and smiled. “What happened to the old boyfriend?”
“It was about time you got an upgrade.”
“Ok, boyfriend, do you come customized?”
“Yes, to every need.”
“And what do I need right now.”
“TLC aka Tender Loving Care”
“She smiled brightly. “I like you already.”
He smiled back. “But there was a little information that was not loaded into my software.”
“The name that matches your beautiful self.”
“Well, boyfriend…your upgrade might not be an upgrade after all.”
“It is just a tiny bug, I’m sure you can easily help de-bug.”
“Why should I?”
“Well, I could use many words to tell you why. Or we could seal it with a kiss. Be it French kiss, German, Nigerian, Chinese, Black or White. Just seal with a kiss and you will have your why. Just lips on lips, enjoying the taste, the feel, the moves, the flicks, the sensation…”
“Haa bros. Is it only kisses you are programmed for?”
“It is written in Songs of Solomon Chapter one verse 2, let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for my love for you is better than wine. And in Proverbs 5, verses 18 and 19 says, …rejoice with the wife of your youth. Let her breasts satisfy you at all times.”
“Should I go on?”
“You are indeed well programmed.”
“So now, can I know your name my fair lady?”
“I will tell you after the first kiss.”
He bent at the waist towards her, as if to kiss her. She left her food and fled from the bank’s cafeteria.
She smiled as she remembered why she had quickly left the cafeteria.
She had seen her Unit Head watching her, as well as, 3 of her colleagues in the department. Her Unit head, who was married with children, had been trying to have an affair with her. She had always tactfully refused his advances.
Despite the fact that the kiss did not happen there, her Unit Head had used it against her. At 8am the next day, he had sent a mail to everyone in the unit except her. At 4pn in the evening, he approached her demanding am update on the assignment he sent out. She had stared at him blankly, with no idea of what he was talking about. He had then go on a tirade on why young ladies ought to pay more attention to their jobs and be more serious with their life. He concluded his rant that such ladies usually end up unhappy as guys would only use and dump them.
Her Unit Head did this same move for two consecutive week. By the 3rd week, she was ready for him. One of her colleagues had forwarded the Unit Head’s mail to her and she had worked on it all day. She sat calmly at her desk, smiling at him, as she waited for him to finish his now usually rant. After he was done, she stood up, walked to him and said, “ sir, here is the report you asked for.”
He looked at her surprised, took the report and slowly read through. It was detailed. He looked at her smiling face. He then walked slowly back to his office.
He stopped his rants and advances at her.
She smiled wider as she remembered the first kiss with Emeka. She had gone to his place a week after they met. “He is indeed a good kisser and lover,” she said aloud, “and I could do with some TLC right now.”
“Huh?” said her Cousin, looking up from the book she was reading. “Were you talking to me?”
“No. Just thinking aloud dear.”
She smiled. “How I for do na?”
“Kai, I just hope say the guy no go break your heart o. You don fall yakata for him.”
“Me? Fall ke?”
“Will you keep quiet. Or you wan make I stone you my book?”
“I no fall na.”
“How long have you even known him?”
“Just be careful.”
“Always na. You know me.”
“Yeah yeah. You wey like to dey code things.”
“I was going to tell you about him na. I just wanted to be sure of things between me and him.”
“No issues dear. Just be careful.”
“I no be small girl na. You forget say I go university and I dated guys there.”
“But this is the first time you don fall yakata for man.”
“Well, love happens to us all.”
“I know love. I know it well enough. But the heart of man is desperately wicked. So again, I say, be careful.”
“Yes ma.” She stood up and headed for the bathroom.
“This one wey you wan go bath, are you going to his place?”
“I just want to check up on him.”
“No na. He was sounding down because he was not promoted at the office.”
“Oh ok. Eeyah.”
“So lemme go cheer him up.”
“Sha don’t stay long in the bathroom. Me sef wan go look for my own Emeka.”
To be continued
Olumide Holloway (King Olulu)
Twitter @olulu4ever, Instagram @olulutheking, firstname.lastname@example.org, +2348025070892