Home Articles / Poems CHAPTER FOUR – HOW TO ROB A BANK


(Photo by Kola Sulaimon / AFP)


“Somebody die?” He asked as he drew a chair and sat down at the table, “why the two of una con dey look morose like this.”

“Nobody die bro,” Silas said as he shook hands with Ayobanji. “Na Emeka dey mourn say dem no promote am.”

“Eeyah, Emekus, why na? You thief your oga babe?” Ayobanji teased as he shook Emeka’s hand.

“The man don say as long as he be my oga, I no go take eye see promotion,” explained Emeka, and took a sip of his beer.

The three of them had met at this same bar about 6 months earlier. They usually came to the bar after work hours to drink a bottle of beer or two, while they waited for the hold-up, caused by the high number of vehicles, on 3rd mainland bridge to subside. They also watched champions league matches and any other match that was played during weekdays. The fact that they were the only Liverpool fans that was usually at the bar was what drew them to each other. Thus, they started sitting together during matches to banter with each other and against fans of opposing teams. They became good friends when they got to know they all worked at the same bank, and that they had also lived and schooled at one time or the other in Ibadan, Oyo State.

“Na wa o. it is well. All these ogas sha. Na so so work my own just dey pack gimme. I don try talk to am about converting me to a full staff. But the man just dey post me. He will just be saying, later later, each and every time,” Ayobanji stated and added, “and I need money bad bad.”

Silas laughed, “you no need money pass me. I suppose marry this year, and my wife na from the East. So you can imagine the kain financial load wey dey my head.”

Ayobanji and Emeka laughed.

“O boy, na money you wan spend o,” Emeka exclaimed.

“I get choice? Na person wey my heart choose be that,” Silas stated.

“So how do you plan to raise the money?” Ayobanjo asked.

“In all honesty, I no know. But if I see any runs wey I fit do. I’m all for it,” Silas answered.

“Runs?” asked Emeka and added, “even fraud?”

The other two turned to look at him and then at each other.




‘Hello Morenike.”

“Hello Sir.”

“Bawo ni”

“Fine sir.”

“Your children nko?”

“They are fine sir.”

“That’s good.”

“Madam nko sir? And my aburos?”

“Won wa dada. O se.”

“Yes sir.”

“Is your husband back?”

“No sir.”

Ok, once he is back, flash me so I can call him.”

“Hope no problem Brother Ola.”

“No problem dear. I don’t want to call him in the office or while he is driving.”

“Oh, ok sir. I will let you know once I hear his car horn.”

“Ok dear, o se gan.”

“Ok sir.”



“Have you called your brother?”

“No sir.”

What are you waiting for?”

“I don’t want to call him while he is still on the road.”

“Hmm. Ok. But how would you know when he is back home?”

“I will have sent a whatsapp message to him. When he replies, I will be able to ascertain where he is and then I will call him.”

“Ok. Let me know when you call him.”

“OK sir.”

“I’m going to my room.”



“Will she be okay?”

“We can only pray and hope God visit us with his mercy.”



“That’s crazy,” Silas said.

“Wetin make you think that kain thing?” Ayobanji asked.

“Are you guys not tired of this suffer head lifestyle?” Emeka countered.

“But fraud no be am,” Ayobanji answered, shaking his head, “I be worker for church o.”

“What if we get caught?” Silas asked.

Emeka looked at Ayobanji, “you are the I.T expert, how many of the fraud that happens in the bank ends up with the culprit getting caught?”

“I don’t have the stats. But I know some people get away with it,” he answered.

“Exactly, we can be the people that gets away with it,” Emeka stated.

They were all silent for a minute or two. Each of them looking at each other.

“Abeg, I no do,” Ayobanji stated flatly and got up. “I go see una later.”

“Wait for me,” Silas called after him as he also got up.

To be continued


Olumide Holloway (King Olulu)

Twitter @olulu4ever, Instagram @olulutheking, olulu4ever@gmail.com, +2348025070892


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